11 April 2008

Add Another Log To The Fire...

Or actually, a candle to the cake...it's that time of year again when my birth certificate reminds me that I am on a speeding, head-on collision course with middle age.

How in the world did I end up here? Seriously? I'm 37, single and busier than hell. This wasn't the plan when I was 15, sitting in my friend's bedroom during an overnighter and playing with a OUIJA board. It wasn't the plan when I was 18 and hyped up on the fact that I just graduated from high school and I had experienced THE BEST senior year I could have imagined. It wasn't the plan when I accepted a marriage proposal on that Christmas Day so long ago. Some time after that, life ~ as it is so apt to do ~ changed the plan on me without first letting me in on the detour.

I'm 37. THAT I have no control over. It's not like I can stop the clock at 25 or 35 and say, "I'm done. This is as old as I want to be!" I know some people would enjoy that, but as life moves on, I find that I enjoy the aging process. The learning never stops and the experiencing never stops...it's life. I enjoy life and the growth that you should be reaching for, if you look for it.

I'm single and I like it that way. I do what I want, when I want, how I want...the only people I have to take into consideration are the monsters and while their lives are busy, some how I enjoy and WANT to do what they are involved in. I've decided I'm more selfish now than I was as a self-absorbed teenager, and I don't care. Truly, I've learned the hard way that I have to be happy with myself to be happy, no matter who is in my life and I've taken that lesson to heart.

I'm busy as hell. I have a full time job that I enjoy 85% of the time...who wants to enjoy their job all of the time? That's where ruts happen, and if you get in a rut, you don't grow. I have two very active tweeners. They are involved in all sorts of activities and I find myself enjoying the experience with them.

Life is what you make of it, and if you're lucky, you make it good. I've learned this past year that while nothing stays the same, if you work at it, it will most likely be better than what you imagined...even if that OUIJA board tells you that you'll one day be an OB/GYN and have twins and you actually end up an editor with two monsters...

Until later...